Embrace, Don’t Silence the Inner Critic

Do you have a nagging voice in your head that tells you you're not creative enough?

I'm not talented.
I do not wish to ruin my art supplies and sketchbooks.
My work will never be as good as ___________.
I am overwhelmed with the work to become the artist I want to be.
I am starting too late compared to people who have drawn their whole lives.

This is the voice of your inner critic. While sometimes subtle, there are times when our inner critic can be so uncontrollable that it causes a creative block or stops us from creating altogether.

If you constantly hear a demanding voice at the back of your head and self-doubt and negative self-talk aren’t new to you, you should know you’re not alone. I experience it, too, and so do other creatives.

The first thought that pops into mind when we think of our inner critic is that we should ‘overcome’, ‘ignore’, ‘silence’, ‘combat’ or ‘stop’ our inner critic.

Let’s reframe the issue a little. Why not learn to embrace it instead?

But why would you embrace something that has caused you anguish?
As counterintuitive as it may seem, getting familiar with your self-talk can actually help you break the cycle of doubt and insecurity.

Last week, I attended a life drawing art meetup. At the end of the class, all the artists went around the room to meet and greet creatives.

One artist came up to me and was admiring my drawing. But I complained about how my lines were very wonky. He said, compassionately... "Your hands are not a Lazor cutter."

It shifted my perspective.

I was so focused on what went wrong because of my negative self-talk and perfectionism that it held me back from feeling the joy and pleasure of creating the drawing.

This is why I wanted to talk to you about this topic.

I’ve been working on changing how I approach my inner critic. Instead of trying to conquer my critical inner voice, I am learning how to tune into what it’s saying and be compassionate to it.

How to deal with your inner critic with self-compassion

Accept that the inner critic is here to stay

One important step toward building a better inner monologue is self-acceptance. Know that nothing is wrong with you, and everyone faces this issue. While we tell ourselves positive things from time to time, it’s easy for most of us to get lost in the “I should have…” and “I did not…” of our creative lives.

Instead of suppressing or allowing it to control you, become more aware of what it says.

Pay attention to it

What does it have to say that might be worth listening to? The next time you notice your inner critic’s voice getting louder, take a step back and listen to it.

If you unpack what your inner critic has to say, you might notice that maybe it is trying to protect you. Are you trying a new drawing technique? Your inner critic might tell you that you shouldn’t, saving you from negative feelings if it goes badly.

Are you submitting your work to get published? Your inner critic might try to stop you, so you don’t have to face rejection. Or maybe it takes on the voice of a parent, partner, teacher or mentor who used to criticise you.

It’s different for everyone. But the question remains, can we meet it with curiosity rather than crumbling under the weight of its concerns?

Take a moment to ask it what it needs.

Respond to what it says

Once you know what your inner critic is trying to tell you, you can learn how to respond, not react, to it.

We can't meet harshness with criticism. Instead of reflecting the negative feelings back, acknowledge how it makes you feel and train a positive response.

If your inner critic is telling you that you shouldn’t try something because you won’t be perfect at it, tell yourself that it’s still worth doing because you will enjoy the process and you will learn from the experience.

The more we do this, the better we get at meeting ourselves with kindness, not harshness.

Be kind to yourself

Try to be kinder to your inner critic. Approach it the way you would a friend. The same way you would try to comfort a friend instead of ridiculing them, practice doing the same with your inner critic.

Being kind to yourself can feel like a warm embrace.

Make it a habit

Learning how to embrace your inner critic and retraining your self-talk takes practice. Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and love. Take a small step every day to become more compassionate toward yourself.

How do you deal with negative self-talk? Hit reply and share your ways of practicing self-love with me. I’d love to hear about them.

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Quote to Ponder:

"Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement."
  - Dale Carnegie